Friday, June 20, 2008

Off Topic - Iron Man Sucks (*** MAJOR SPOILERS ***)

Iron Man Movie Sucks (Note; there are major spoilers, if you don't want to know intimate details about the movie then don't continue reading)

Ok, it doesn't suck, but it is not nearly as good as people say it is. Reviewers are raving over this comic book adaption. The American Idol populous is going nuts; "Iron Man is the best movie ev4r!!!!". I strongly disagree. There are certainly some good CGI moments and scenes of good comic book heroism, but at the end of the day, this is yet another "silly" comic book to movie translation. There are a couple of problems that I had with this film.

  1. Simplistic Plot - You can figure out the plot in the first 15-20 minutes. Even from the first 5 minutes I could kind of get an idea on what is going to happen. "Rich guy in the desert with army soldiers? Let me guess...he gets captured.", "Rich guy in the desert is detained and left alone with a bunch of electronics. Let me guess, he is going to be build a suit, the Ironman suit". And why are the terrorists watching him on camera, it is clear he isn't building a missle, why don't they just shoot his ass. We see many scenes where Robert Downey Jr's character is testing out the robotic limbic system and the helmet. Isn't it blatantly obvious that is building something other than the missile he was asked to build. Give me a break.

  2. Tony Stark (Ironman) is a misogynistic, elitist tool - Robert Downey plays a great a**hole, but I will get to him later. The Tony Stark character is a horrible rich guy turned super hero or at the very least Robert screws up the role. There are so many acts of fake misogyny. Stewardess suddenly turn into strippers and dance on poles. The reporter character goes from doing an interview with Tony Stark to suddenly sleeping with him. The subservient Pepper is not only a beaten down secretary but then she falls in love with Stark. Give me a break. Christian Bale in Batman Begins and Michael Keaton in the original Batman do a much better job.

  3. Silly Scenes and Plotlines designed for teenagers - The overall plot is not too terribly bad, but the implementation of the story is so dumbed down. I already mentioned how Tony Stark was allowed to build a complete Ironman suit in the dessert while the captors watch on camera? Silly. He walks out of the terrorist camp and then is suddenly shot into the air, lands and his Airforce friend just happens to pick him up in the dessert. He comes home to build a better Ironman suit. This is what I find strange. He goes out of his way to be this secret hero and hide what he is working on. Where does he hide? In his workshop in his house? No secret lair or hideaway in some third world country; Tony Stark hides from the rest of the world by going downstairs into his basement. Not even to mention the fact that his arch nemesis seems to have keys to his house and can freely come and go. I found this kind of strange. The bad guy in the film goes out of his way to send Tony Stark to some terrorist camp to be killed but it seems like it would have been easier to just kill Tony while he slept. "What are you WORKING Tony?? What are you WORKING Tony?? ..." Why do you have to ask, why don't you just sneak into his basement!!!!!

  4. Pepper Potts Role and other acts of Sexism - Clearly this film was an all male production. The feminist movement will have a lot to complain about with this film. Pepper's role in the film just made me squirm. "Why are you working for this a-hole?"

  5. Robert Downey Jr. OMFG would you shutup? - I will be honest. I like Robert and he is good in a lot of his roles. And maybe sobering up had a lot to do with it. But Robert Downey was terribly annoying in this film. Every line had to add some witty sarcasm. He also had to spit out as many words as he can as fast as can and then end with some witty punchline. "I am the richest, smartest, weapons arms dealer that can build robots while fixing on cars and dining and seeing women, blahhaahalhalhahlahlhalhflahlhlahlahlahlala...would you sleep with me?" Every single line in the movie. It drove me nuts.

  6. No real enemy threat or bad guys - Who is the enemy in this film? The terrorists in pajamas and AK-47s that live thousands of miles away? His old, fat-ass former partner? Ironman gets to the end of the movie without really fighting anyone.

  7. In summary, I thought this movie was yet another over-hyped Hollywood film (shocker!!!).

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